*originally published last year under the title of “Unrapping Wisdom. Bite Sized epiphanies and sweet reflections.
I have a sweet tooth that I indulge more than I care to admit. Usually, I give in to the cravings, feel shame for a little while, and then go on my merry way.
I’m not usually heavily pondering life while stuffing my face with sweetness, but that’s precisely what happened today.
Maybe it had to do with the fact that I’d been sitting in group therapy for the past two hours or because I had just given my sister some sage advice about life transitions and grieving.
Defeated By Design
I was having lunch in my car like a weirdo (I like the solo time to decompress) when I realized I’d grabbed the same bag of fruit snacks I couldn’t open the other day.
Damnit.
It was that time of the month, and I needed to get into these snacks, or the possibility of going nuclear was imminent.
“Why did I pick these back up instead of grabbing a new bag this morning? I’m not going to be able to open this. Why don’t I carry scissors on me? Why do they make them so hard to open?”
The negative thoughts just kept coming.
Then, I heard another small voice amongst the sea of negative intrusive thoughts.
“Try reframing this the way you would reframe any other tough situation.”
“Reframe the way I open a bag of snacks?!” I asked myself incredulously. For a second, I told myself I was taking psychotherapy way too seriously.
But even as I had that thought, my hands took the bag of snacks and flipped it upside down. Then I tried prying it open like you would a bag of chips, and lo and behold, the bag finally opened.
“Would you look at that?” I thought to myself.
I had tried to open this bag in what felt like every which way on several other occasions, and I just couldn’t get through.
I had even tried flipping it upside down before, but I had tried to forcefully open it along the edges because that’s how I KNEW it worked. That’s how you were SUPPOSED to open it. That’s how I had learned to do it, anyway.
Timing
I cracked a smile when I realized this bag of gummy fruit snacks was a metaphor for other things in my life.
It made me wonder how many other things in my life I just had to give space to so that I could turn around later and tackle them with a fresh set of eyes or a different point of view.
Sometimes, it’s not a “no” but a “not right now.”
Hard Work Paying Off?
On the flip side, perhaps my dilemma had nothing to do with timing, but instead, I made it easier to open from all the other times I tried.
Sometimes we give up just shy of the finish line, not realizing it’s just around the bend.
We don’t think about how the work we’ve already put into something has put us that much closer to the end.
The Point
In short, the message between every sweet bite was clear:
- There’s more than one way to accomplish a task.
- Just because something doesn’t pan out initially doesn’t mean it can’t work down the line.
- The finish line could be closer than we think because of how much work we’ve already done to get us there.
It’s a Wrap
Next time you feel frustrated from a situation, take a step back.
If you’ve been dealing with it for a while, examine how you have been trying to deal with it and sit with the possibility that maybe there’s something you’re not seeing from this angle.
Seek advice or try to reframe it.
Come back to it on a different day when you’ve had some time to cool off and you’re not overwhelmed by emotion.
Don’t give up.
The answer to a problem might be more straightforward than you believe.